5.18.2019

Sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G...♡



(Insert girl's name) and (boy's name) sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Safe to say you know the rest of this school rhyme.
For most of my early life, I always wondered was it really that easy? Girl meets boy and next thing you know there sitting a tree. 
But really everyone around me had their special friend, as we got older they all had their first boyfriends, then their first loves then unto finding their husbands. And just like that the rest of this school rhyme was the reality of most people in my age group except mine, at least that's what I thought.
As a young girl seeing everyone experience this innocent school rhyme before my eyes I sometimes felt like maybe something was wrong with me although I felt that I can say I truly always felt happy and celebrated those that had what I couldn't. 
At that young age I knew with every fiber of my being (I know sounds that dramatic but at that age everything seems like an eternity) that one day my prince would come. 
According to me and my journals (I started writing since the age of 11) I knew I just needed patience and continue to be the best straight laced young girl I could be and that day I yarned for would come. 
Well let me tell you I was in for a rude awaking. Why? Because I waited and waited and guess what waited some more. Little me would love to say AND then IT happened but that's not the case. 
These things have yet not happened... well kinda not completely. 
 Let me explain for this is the point why I wanted to write. 
At one point for a long time I was patient but then that turned to "I deserve," not one bit proud of that but that was the feelings I started to harvest (which is never the best attitude in any situation). 
Here's the worst part I started to feel that as a young adult not because it wasn't happing right then but because I started to feel pity for my patience self all those years ago, thinking what could of been and what things I missed out on. 
What I should of remembered is that I was happy, I was full of hope and thankful. I should of reminded myself that being and doing good is done with a full heart without expecting anything in return. So yes I spent time crying and poisoning myself over "spilled milk" ...was it even that if at that point in my life I had a better perspective? 
Anyways on to the other worst part I longed for all those things from the rhyme that my church also put emphasis on and taught me I should desire WHILE I DID have multiple opportunities to experience a lot . I will share those instances on another entry since that's a long story too.
But to wrap this one up yes am not married and yes I don't have any children of my own.
HOWEVER, I was a first time girlfriend, I did have my first kiss, I did fall in love for the first time, and I did experience what it feels like to love new spirits fresh out heaven as a first time auntie. 
Everyone's story and rhyme are not the same but we all are blessed, and we will all have struggles but what is most important is to never lose hope. Never let your "happy" slip away because it's our doing. Like late President Thomas S. Monson said
"OF THIS BE SURE: YOU DO NOT FIND A HAPPY LIFE YOU MAKE IT."

with love from, 
Kris

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